The Story of my Weightloss, Bullying and Mental Health Issues

I’m not going to lie, I have struggled with my weight for years, I lost 40lbs and regained about 30lbs. 

I feel now is the right time to tell my story and how I quickly gained weight, lost weight and regained some weight again. 

My story goes all the way back to 2005, the year I moved from primary school to secondary school. 

In the beginning I was looking forward to it, but none of my friends went to the same school so I quickly had to become friends with the other people from my primary school as I didn’t know anyone else. 

I was bullied from that very first day, starting with the bus. I was harassed by the pupils 6 years older than me, who knew my brother and they had started bullying me about my brothers sexuality. 

This continued and didn’t stop, over the next two years the bullying got even worse, I was going home in floods of tears everyday, I was physically hurt by one pupil throwing their backpack at my face and the teachers done nothing. 

By third year I just felt completely alone, the people I thought were my friends weren’t really my friends, they never kept in contact when I finally transferred schools. 

On the day I handed the school a letter from my parents telling them I was leaving the school, the vice Principal called me into his office and asked why I was leaving and to be honest he was very nasty to me through the tone he was speaking to me. 

I went home from that school everyday, went straight to my bedroom and cried for hours on end, wishing it would just end. I even contemplated suicide, I thought about hanging myself with my school tie, I thought about drowning myself in the bath and I even thought about drowning my self in the river by walking in at the lay-by, a place I know no one would know because people always got stopped from jumping off the bridge. I even went as far as cutting myself with a pair of nail scissors because I couldn’t handle it anymore. 

Transferring schools was a bit better, I made some new friends but the bullying quickly followed me since some of the pupils were friends with people from my previous school. 

I stopped getting the bus as I was being harassed on it and someone even put their gum in my hair, I never got the bus again after this incident. 

I kept to myself, I stopped eating lunch to avoid being stuck in the canteen with everyone else so I would go to the library and focus on my coursework and homework. 

As soon as I would get home I would turn to food for comfort, I would have an unhealthy dinner such as pizza and then I would binge on a large bar of chocolate, a large bag of Doritos, a tub of ice cream and 2 litres of sprite everyday, for two years.

I finally left school after my GCSE’s, I started to study travel and tourism, I could no longer be bullied and soon had new friends, or so I thought. I will get into that more later. 

As I was no longer being harassed, I was fed up with my weight and wanted to live a healthier lifestyle. I started eating better, cut out all junk food and started walking on a daily basis then started exercising more. I lost 3 and a half stone, went from a size 18 to a size 12.

Although I reached my goal, I still regained weight due to my mental health and emotional eating getting the better of me. 

There where many reasons I regained the weight, I am an emotional eater and went through quite a through quite a rough time, within 2 years I was knocked down by a Range Rover, my parents divorced, I was on and off with my then boyfriend, I went to New York to do Camp America (it wasn’t for me), my dad had a bad accident breaking his leg, I was friends with people who were horrible to me and bullied me, and finally I went to Lanzarote on work placement where we were treated like garbage. 

I couldn’t handle all these changes and turned to food to cope with my feelings. 

Although I regained weight and had a lot of shit happen to me, I have learned a lot and have come out as a stronger person. 

I don’t regret these things happening to me, I have learned a lot and come a long way from that lost 17 year old girl to a 24 year old woman who knows what they want from their life and I have learned who the true kind people are. I would rather have one really amazing friend than 10 friends who don’t treat you right. 

Uni was also terrible for my waistline, I just ate rubbish and was drinking far too much alcohol and not getting enough exercise. My anxiety also got extremely bad during uni, I remember not leaving my flat for days and my health took a turn as I was diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 

Carpal Tunnel was probably the hardest thing for me to deal with during my time at uni. It means that the median nerve in my left arm is trapped under the bone, so I lose feeling and use of my hand and it can also get quite painful. I still have this issue today and require surgery to have it fixed. 

After finishing my degree at university I moved home and remained unemployed for a year, I couldn’t find a job here and the opportunities that first came up didn’t work out because I had to go get my wisdom teeth removed during the training week. 

I was stuck in a rut and think I lost some confidence during that year with rejection after rejection trying to find a job. The only thing I had to look forward to was my best friends wedding. 

I decided I needed to start focusing on my self, i stopped drinking alcohol, stopped eating take away and stopped eating junk food and started the blog to encourage my weight loss. 

I managed to lose a bit of weight just in time for the wedding so I would fit in my dress. 

I then gained a new job a couple of months before the wedding and I have now been there for one year and my eating habits have become terrible again! I don’t want to be stuck in this rut anymore and Sunday will be the beginning of the next chapter before I leave for my new career in Florida. 

This is now currently me, rebuilding my confidence and moving forward to a healthier lifestyle even though this past week has been hell without a fridge or a freezer. 

Keep your eyes peeled to see where I end up with my weight loss journey and hopefully by this time next year I will be the happiest and most confident I have ever been. 

~ Victoria xo

#weightloss